A Code of Courtesy and Kindness

A Code of Courtesy and Kindness

This does not mean being "nice," or striving to always agree. It does mean appreciating the value of another's message, and promoting an atmosphere on the list which will encourage everyone to participate.

We value the Buddha's teaching of Right Speech, which is not about political correctness, but rather using our words to everyone's fundamental benefit. It's about truth coupled with lovingkindness (considerate behavior coming from deep regard).

In the overlap of Buddhism and UUism, right speech is free and responsible speech.

• Don't...
  • Use inflammatory language
  • Criticize persons
  • Preach ("you are wrong and I am right"), forcing your views on others
  • Offer unsolicited advice (even when it's asked for, beware the power dynamic: are you setting yourself up as having authority over the asker?) Instead, offer information or suggestions.
  • Monopolize the list

• Do...
  • Treat with respect the purposes of the list, its members, and the values of both Buddhism and UUism.
  • Write your messages mindfully: see Writing as Practice.
  • Above all, remember: we are all in it together (Interbeing). We need to treat each other gently and in a spirit of compassion.

For more information, see...

• The Value of Rules and Kindness: thoughts from list manager Sam.
• Right Speech as a Dance: suggestions from UUBF-L members on how to handle conflict on list.
• Gurus, Professors and Prophets: why certain behaviors are inappropriate on list. By UUBF-L member George Buchanan.
• Respecting Copyright on the UUBF-L
• Electronic Right Speech
• The UUA Email List User's Guide: Rules for Participating

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